Vegan husband refuses to carry grocery bags full of meat, eggs, and dairy into his house, forces his meat-eating wife to do it: 'How can you kiss someone who eats meat and can't touch the bag holding it?'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Senior Editor
Sep 12, 2025 11:00 AM EDT

Have you ever run into a vegan who will turn their nose up at you for eating meat? I still have yet to find this person in real life, and yet I hear secondhand stories about the archetypal vegan's reign of terror constantly. One time, I brought a rotisserie chicken to eat out of the bag to a picnic, and my vegan friend was incredibly charmed by that choice. They really didn't have to be; I would never expect a vegan to be thrilled by my choice to eat meat, and yet they were. 

There are a lot of vegans who choose to live in a meat-free household, and I respect that choice. This is a massive lifestyle choice that is far more restrictive than most, and if they don't feel comfortable having meat in their home, it's their right to live a life that can facilitate that. What they can't do is control what others do, and if they are living with or married to a meat-eater, nothing they say or do can change that. If they give an ultimatum that their partner needs to become vegan or they'll break up, that's their choice to make.

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  • As a vegan, you can't do both. You can't say that you're okay with your partner eating meat, and act in a way that communicates that you're not okay with it at all. That's what the vegan in this story did, and his relationship sounds incredibly dysfunctional.

  • Apples and bananas in brown cardboard box
    via Maria Lin Kim

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • I've quietly stopped carrying in non-vegan groceries. Wife not happy.

    My wife and I split the household chores. One of the things she's responsible for is grocery shopping. If I'm around when she comes home I'll help unload the car and bring the groceries into the house.
    via u/Infinite_Result6884
  • I've been vegan for a few years now. Somewhere along the way I grew uncomfortable handling meat/dairy/eggs so when I'm unloading the car I grab the vegan stuff -- produce, oatmeal, beans, lentils, etc. We each make the same amount of trips carrying in food.
    via u/Infinite_Result6884
  • Bowl full of assorted beans
    via Milada Vigerova

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Well she has finally noticed what I'm doing and is slightly annoyed by it. Over the past week she has told me, "I talked to my friends and they all say you're being ridiculous"... "I told my coworkers about it and they agree with me"... "I talked with your mom and she thinks you're being silly."
    via u/Infinite_Result6884
  • Honestly, I really don't give a f what anyone thinks. But most recently she said she didn't even think my reddit vegan friends would agree with me which got me curious (but still unmoving in my resolve).
    via u/Infinite_Result6884
  • So, reddit vegan friends, is that true? Do I have a duty to transport her animal foods?
    via u/Infinite_Result6884
  • Raw meat on a ceramic plate
    via Eiliv Aceron

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • EfficientSky9009 You don't have a responsibility to carry them in but you do have a responsibility to communicate your thoughts with her like an adult. Why didn't you just tell her that it bothered you so you could both come up with a solution?
    via u/EfficientSky9009
  • yikesusername Yeah that was my thought. Seems passive aggressive to stop doing something and not communicate why.
    via u/yikesusername
  • Bellatrix Rising Look at the way she responded to him about her friends calling him ridiculous... I wonder why he didn't want to talk to her about it. /S
    via u/Bellatrix_Rising
  • yourenotmymom_yet To be fair, we have no idea if she's including his lack of communication in what she deems to be ridiculous behavior.
    via u/yourenotmymom_yet
  • c4td0gm4n yeah, i can imagine different scenarios here: one where OP leveled with his wife and just she refuses to accept it, and another one where OP is passively aggressive about it. but on the other hand, i can also imagine his wife acting in a certain way that has made him feel really frustrated, maybe even disrespected. kind of like when people roll their eyes when you're "doing that vegan thing again" or something. and you're just like, well why am i helping you if you're going to treat me
    via u/c4td0gm4n
  • so i don't think we can say whether he or she is acting appropriately. i think it's reasonable to have an agreement where she's responsible for her extra groceries that he's ethically against. she can put the milk and meat in a bag and bring it in on the first trip. and if she can't manage that then she's being unreasonable.
    via u/c4td0gm4n
  • MrMuttBunch I don't think being a vegan is the issue, it sounds like you two have problems communicating.
    via u/MrMuttBunch
  • the_deadcactus It reads like the plot of a South Park episode where Randy decides to be vegan...
    via u/the_deadcactus
  • TheApostate Turtle If you're uncomfortable carrying in animal products, then this would be a situation where you absolutely need to use your words. If you're repulsed by animal products, I totally get it. However, choosing to not say anything and just let her figure it out is ridiculous. Those are two separate issues.
    via u/TheApostateTurtle
  • You've got two options: get a divorce, or start communicating. As others have said, maybe you could start doing the shopping and cooking. At the very least, you need to be open and tell her, "Hey I got most of the groceries in, but I don't feel comfortable dealing with the animal products." Yeah, she'll be p_ed, but at least she has the opportunity to be ped. Just not saying anything is totally disrespectful tbh.
    via u/TheApostateTurtle
  • Tl;dr, the problem isn't carrying in groceries, the problem is failure to communicate In other news, I don't know what country you're in, but I was relieved to discover that you're not out packing in vegan grocery stores. Exercising your second amendment rights in that context kind of takes away from the ahimsa vibe
    via u/TheApostateTurtle
  • ShmogieJoe thank god my nonvegan spouse is supportive. i do all the meal prepping and grocery shopping, i told him if he wants animal products he can buy them. he just buys eggs and instant ramen for himself, but he eats what i make for lunch and dinners. i kinda cancel out most of his animal product consumption because he mostly eats what i make, which is vegan.
    via u/ShmogieJoe
  • hippocampe75 When I went make the decision of being vegan, I told my partner and he was supportive. The next morning when I went to the kitchen, he was rearranging the fridge, putting all non vegan food on the upper shelf. He eats like me most of the time except cheese for breakfast (but keep his cheese in a Tupperware on the upper shelf). And sometimes he has takeaway Chinese food and in that case, he eats his dinner in the kitchen with door closed and window open so that I am not disgusted by
    via u/hippocampe75
  • ask about all of this, he did it spontaneously. When he comes back from grocery shopping, I help him getting groceries out of the bags, except his cheese or takeaway when there is some. He never complains about that. He loves me and so he respects me. I know how lucky I am compared to a lot of vegan people living with non vegan partner of family members.
    via u/hippocampe75
  • kloyoh So u kiss a meat eater? I would say just carry the groceries as its part of the chores.
    via u/kloyoh
  • supercaiti Yes seriously. He's carrying the bags, not the carton of eggs, not touching the egg at all, right? Lmao how can you kiss someone who eats meat and cant touch the bag holding it.
    via u/supercaiti
  • Tink-Tank6567 You do the shopping and cooking. That way no problem. Don't make your choices create more work for her. She's not your mommy. Do more. Do all the cooking so if she wants meat products it is extra for her to do. People follow the path of least resistance. Make the vegan path easier for her. Right now veganism for her means more work and a spouse that refuses to help her. Not helping the cause man. plus, gives lazy hubby vibes. Do more not less and still follow your truth.
    via u/Tink-Tank6567

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groceries toxic relationships relationship marriage vegans eggs wife dairy relationships grocery husband vegan grocery shopping toxic relationship meat
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